BEEFING A MOSQUITO (Short Tale) by Debbie Iorliam

If you have never beefed a mosquito even for once then there might be two reasons for this. One you certainly have never mosquitobeen liked by a mosquito and two, you’re just too mean to tolerate nonsense! Whichever way, it involves a tremendous effort.

When a mosquito decides to be obsessed with you on a wrong night, be rest assured the night would be an adventurous one. I say a wrong night because it might be a night you need to shake off the stress of a long day, by having a good rest. This mosquito would remind you that if pikin no sleep, why mama go sleep? And so it would sing you annoying lullabies that would remind you of the power nature has over her subject. For tonight you’re its subject. At this moment you’re at the mercy of the mosquito and nothing you do can make a difference. You might decide to flit the room with those insecticides that merely invites the mosquitoes for a party. Well wrong move! The mosquito becomes vexed and calls on his allies for a dinning spree.

While the allies are enjoying your legs, the notorious mosquito would make sure he designs your face, so that when day break comes you will still carry the imprint of its night visit. It would sing in your ears so closely and even give you a kiss on the inner

Dinner time! Mwahahahahaaha! From here...

Dinner time! Mwahahahahaaha! From here

part of your ear. Of course it’s expected that you give it a ‘dead slap’ but the crafty mosquito eludes you! Your hand sweeps air instead into your ear and you give a loud hiss that is loud enough to wake the neighborhood. The mosquito giggles. It’s not done yet. Next you feel a caressing on your neck after the mosquito gives your arm thirty seconds of rest. You raise your hand gbam! You give yourself a dirty blow on the neck because this time, you wouldn’t miss. So you make sure the attack is brutal and final. Fat chance! The mosquito zooms away dancing shoki. After some seconds of quietness, your mind begins to tell you that maybe somehow you succeeded without knowing. You close your eyes to get some sleep. The mosquito is done dancing shoki meanwhile its allies are still feasting on your legs but honestly you don’t mind. You change your sleeping position to your favorite, the night can’t be so bad after all. You think. You feel a bloody bite on your forehead. Jesus! slips out of your mouth but not before giving yourself a thunderous slap on the face that leaves you feeling angry. The mosquito and its allies laugh heartedly at this point. They don’t hesitate to mention you are quite a dramatic one.

The torture continues till the early hours of the morning when the mosquito goes to its hideout with his entourage. You wake up really grumpy and you wonder why you were born in Nigeria, at least having light would have made all the difference. You curse NEPA but quickly your attention goes back to the mosquito. You vow to give it a slow and painful death but you wonder how? You smile at your silliness and set about getting ready for work.

You seem to have forgotten about the mosquito already and last night’s episode, getting to work is all that counts. You try to carry your shirt that is resting on a hanger over a nail on the wall, and then you spy a mosquito! You’re so certain it’s the one that tortured you even though you never saw what it looked like. You become so excited the day turns bright abruptly. You crack your knuckles, but your eyes are trained on the mosquito. Now! You tell yourself. Your slap vibrates the entire wall. You sigh deeply. At last. You’re reluctant to look at your palm, but you do it all the same. You need confirmation. You expect to see blood. Nothing! Your palm is as clean as a white new packaged shirt. Your eyes travel to the wall. Nothing! You sigh deeply. You begin to think the mosquito was blue toothed from the village, and grudgingly you admit that your morning has gone sour.

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7 thoughts on “BEEFING A MOSQUITO (Short Tale) by Debbie Iorliam

  1. thank you for giving me a good laugh! LOL Especially since I hate mosquito’s but this story really captures the struggle of a good night sleep, while this pesky insect declares war on your body! great post

  2. Aah yes! The ever-singing ‘quitoes. I hate their songs more than their bites. Countless nights they have made me cry in helpless frustration. You got this one. Kudos.

  3. You really did take your pretty lil time with this insightful piece Sagely One! Hilarious and well, tropical issues! Mosquitoes were made for the tropics, and we so ‘fortunately’ find ourselves here; so we may as well suck it up or should that be…have ’em suck us up?! 😂😂😂

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