The Colour Of My Depression

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The colour of my depression is black

It is like a brooding darkness
Sitting heavily on my shoulders

I know this because my mother does not look into my eyes anymore
She says my eyes are no longer calm like the seas of amakohia
She says they are now like tornadoes and hurricanes
I do not tell my mother that in my dreams, I get drowned in the ocean.
Ocean so deep, water so black
Instead I say
Mother, I have forgotten what it feels like to be light
To float on my own terms
I reek of a sadness that has no name
A stench everyone can perceive
Last night I tried closing my eyes
Hoping to get a glimpse of heaven
But all I could see was black
The colour of my depression
Onwukwe Chimdinma, 2017.
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